Grief and Teaching: The Story of Mrs. Hayes

This research project covers how personal grief can shape job performance and identity in helping professions. Through an interview with Mrs. Hayes, a teacher who experienced the loss of her son early in her teaching career. This project further investigates how educators navigate professional responsibilities while coping with personal tragedy. By combining her emotional story with research on grief, the project asks how loss can challenge and reshape professional identity.

Research question: How does personal grief impact job performance and identity in helping professions

The Story of Mrs. Hayes

I chose Mrs. Hayes for my research project because I have known her for many years, starting out as my volleyball coach, then my teacher, and finally a role model in my life. I always looked up to her knowing how many different things she did around the school. She always told me I could do anything I put my mind to, and now I'm here to tell her story.

Mrs. Hayes originally began teaching to have a career where she was allowed to spend more time with her son, who had a disability. Teaching provided a schedule that allowed her to be present in his life. Unfortunately not too long into her teaching career her son passed away.

Starting as a first year teacher was already a challenge. New teachers have to learn classroom management, lesson planning, and professional expectations while, trying to find their teaching style. For Mrs. Hayes, this process occurred during a time of intense personal grief.

Despite these challenges, she continued to teach her students. Her story raises important questions about how grief affects people working in helping professions, where emotional labor and responsibility for others are central to the job.

First Year Teachers

Article: "The First Year Teachers Are Not Okay"

This article explains the experiences of a first year teacher who struggled with the overwhelming responsibilities of the job. The teacher was hired late in the summer and had little time to set up her classroom. She described spending long hours attending meetings while also trying to organize furniture and lesson materials.

The article highlights how new teachers often work in “survival mode” during their first months. The teacher explains:

“I was caught in survival mode until November. We had our first long break… and I felt what it was like to be a human without a fritzed out central nervous system.”

The teacher also describes pressure to prove herself where she volunteered for extra activities even though she was already struggling with time.

Like the teacher in THIS ARTICLE, she was going though the pressures of being new to the profession while also facing personal hardship.

Why Do People Become Teachers?

"Why Do Teachers Teach" Article

This source explains the "Why?" on behind becoming a teacher. The article argues that teaching is often seen as a calling rather than just a job.

It states:

“Teaching is a role where you wake up each morning knowing your actions matter. Every lesson, every conversation, every bit of guidance contributes to something far bigger than yourself.”

Many teachers choose this job, because they want to positively influence young people’s lives. Mrs. Hayes expressed a similar motivation during her interview. She described wanting students to experience moments of understanding and putting an impact on their lives.

"Mrs. Hayes I still use the math journal and I'm in college, it helped me get through college math!" - A quote from Mrs. Hayes that a former student told her.

This gives us a better understanding on Mrs. Hayes’s story within questions about why people become teachers.

Academic Research on Grief

George A. Bonanno – The Other Side of Sadness

George Bonanno’s research challenges the common belief that grief always leads to long term dysfunction or sadness. He argues that strength is actually a common response to loss.

Bonanno explains that many people continue functioning in their daily responsibilities even while handling grief. He describes this process as an emotional process between sadness and trying to live a normal life.

This perspective helps explain how Mrs. Hayes was able to continue teaching after losing her son. Her ability to maintain professional responsibilities may reflect what Bonanno calls "resilient grief."

Tedeschi and Calhoun – Post traumatic Growth

While Bonanno focuses on resilience, Tedeschi and Calhoun emphasize transformation after trauma. They describe post traumatic growth as:

“positive psychological change experienced as a result of the struggle with highly challenging life circumstances.”

Their research suggests that difficult experiences can reshape identity and deepen empathy. This concept helps explain how personal loss could influence a teacher’s approach to students and relationships.

Considering Mrs. Hayes story, grief may not only have challenged her professionally but also deepened her sense of purpose and compassion in the classroom.

Comparing The Research

Looking at these sources together reveals that grief does not have a single outcome.

Bonanno argues that many individuals maintain stability and continue fulfilling their roles/jobs even after loss. Tedeschi and Calhoun emphasize that trauma can also help someone achieve personal growth.

When applied to Mrs. Hayes’s story, both perspectives seem relevant. She continued to maintain her responsibilities while also starting to develop a deeper sense of empathy and meaning in her work, especially when bonding with her students.

Together, these ideas suggest that grief can both challenge and reshape professional identity in helping professions.